tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Come share oat with me in your robe
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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