it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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