Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
