You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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