yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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