I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
