and next time when you feel me up, do it right
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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