they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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