so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
