AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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