No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
