she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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