Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
