im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Can I color on your dick again?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
