What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
