Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
