Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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