Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
