Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
