I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
