yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize