We should be called the Road Head Warriors
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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