I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
