DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
