Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Soap is not a condiment
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
