i just google imaged poop.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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