I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
