Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
