He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize