Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize