Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
