It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
