After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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