i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
