Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
