yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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