pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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