I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
