I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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