I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
