only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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