He uses pillows to masturbate.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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