I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
