listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
