Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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