You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
