Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
