When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize