Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
