when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
This toilet bowl is my home.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
