I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize