she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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