Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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