we have pet lesbian snakes
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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