It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
