so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
