Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Randomize
