Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I think my moral compass just broke
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