operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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